


Olid Love

by CGotAnAccount



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Brief Regris, Disaster gay Shiro, M/M, courting rituals are gross
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-04
Updated: 2018-10-04
Packaged: 2019-07-24 23:30:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16185473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CGotAnAccount/pseuds/CGotAnAccount
Summary: “Shiro,” Matt muffled from where his hands were clamped firmly on his nose, “What in the hell did you do to the common room?”





	Olid Love

“Shiro,” Matt muffled from where his hands were clamped firmly on his nose, “What in the hell did you do to the common room?”

 

Shiro perked up, “Oh! Isn't it great?” he beams, “Regris and the other blades were just telling me about Galra ah...” he rubbed the back of his neck, suddenly sheepish “Courting rituals?”

 

“Courting rituals.” he repeated numbly, trying not to look directly as Shiro.

 

Matt cringed as he surveyed the reeking area. There some sort of pelt that was probably still warm thrown over the formerly nice sterile couches. There was something that could have been one of those Himalayan salt lamps if it wasn't clearly made out of something's liver on the table, and a few decorative bowls filled with some sort of slimy oil – likely from the same animal.

 

“Can I ask.... why?”

 

“Well,” Shiro started, avoiding eye contact while hastily straightening up the edges of the definitely gooey pelt, “Keith and I have been friends for a while now...”

 

Matt's sigh could have been heard two floors away.

 

“Aren't you two already like... a thing?”

 

He swears he's seen them canoodling in the hallways when they think nobody is around.

 

“I mean, maybe,” Shiro hedges, “But the Galra have this ritual before it's official and I wanted to do it right.”

 

The smell is starting to make Matt woozy.

 

“So that means you're going to... seduce him with a rotting carcass?”

 

Shiro's eyes nearly bug out of his head.

 

“No! The blades said that I need to prove I can provide for him, the meat is already with Hunk, so this is the... bedding?”

 

Matt hears a gurgle from the doorway and sees Regris, mask down with his whole fist in his mouth to keep from laughing. He hasn't had enough caffeine to deal with this.

 

“Okay Shiro. So you've got your... bedding. And your meat. And your... mood lighting?” he takes a poke at the luminescent liver-thing while Shiro nods excitedly, “But what's with the slime?”

 

“Oh I nearly forgot!” Shiro gasps dramatically, as he begins to dab the slime into the creases of his neck, elbows, and wrists like Matt had seen his mother do with perfume.

 

The is definitely going into the Things To Never Speak of Again file. He casts the most baleful look he can muster at the group of giggling blades in the opposite doorway and turns to leave.

 

“Good luck, Shiro,” he calls out from under his hands still, “At least he'll still love you even if you're coated in garbage juice that sparkles in your pulsating organ-light.”

 

* * *

 

By the time breakfast rolls around the next morning Matt has nearly purged the incident from his brain. The other blades are already there poking at their goo and looking a little ashen. Matt can't help put prod at them for making him witness yesterday. 

 

“What, did your prank not work?” he snickers, “It takes more than covering Shiro in filth to stop Keith's googly eyes.”

 

Regris just looks up at him, haunted. He shakes his head once, mouth opening and then clicking shut before whipping his head back to the table.

 

And then Keith stumbles in, stench first, and makes his way over the the refresher.

 

Matt smirks, “How did your evening with Shiro go last night?”

 

Keith stops mid twist, only a little pinker than normal.

 

“It went fine.” he grunts out.

 

And then he turns and Matt gets a good look at him, gooey fur stuck into his hair, weird slime slicked up his neck covering a purple mark, and that _smell._

 

And Matt adds Regris to the list of people he's taking to hell with him.

 

 

 


End file.
